I've lost something...

The house feels empty even though it's full.  The girls are doing their girl things.  I'm doing my thing.  Everything's normal here except...  We've gotten rid of all the accessories that might trigger memory.  I cleaned up the backyard of any trace but...

I couldn't bring myself to get rid of the tennis balls.  They used to annoy me SO MUCH!  Here we were, trying to improve and beautify our little piece of land and I'd see a faded, frayed, broken and dirty stinky tennis ball right in my line of sight.  Gross.  I'd throw them in the trash and a little fairy would come behind me and restore it to our yard.  Then they started multiplying.  Some were even teeny tiny... little midget balls squished in the mud.  My super secret trash stash was successful once or twice.

But, this evening I found three of them.  I just couldn't put them in the trash.  I also didn't want them to be in my line of sight every day, I'd die of dehydration from all the crying.  So, I put them where they belong.  With Her.  I'm still crying but I know it will pass if I don't have to see them all the time.  Only when I choose to.

Brandy : October 31, 1998 - August 31, 2012
We miss you so much.

I'll check under the couches next.

Good Girl.